Fear

Today's story~

                I was scared and alone in the unfamiliar room. Everything including my brain ached, but it was mostly my heart. I was starting to regret the choice of telling Nathanial to go home because it wasn’t his fight, or even his problem to deal with. It was mine. Little did I know that when I took him to this time period with me, which it was every much as his problem, as it is mine. Just thinking about Nathanial made my heart twist uncomfortably, as I realize he won’t come back ever again. And I have to get out of this place, before, before they do anything this place, somehow making it out of this place without him, which might be impossible.

                I groan, and close my eyes trying to keep the flood of memories from enclosing in on me. There was possibly every kind of knife and gun in the whole world in this room, filed with countless other of torture weapon that you can think of. I was scared, feeling it in my very bones. I was afraid that the weapons were going to turn in on m, regardless if they were handled with invisible hands or not. And the first was most likely that cleaved half moon blade shining carefully in its ceiling post, which was just over my neck.

                I was going to die, with no way of getting Little Mercy back, or even finding out where Nathanial is. My memories were all of what’s going to be left of me. Memories of where I try to avoid the knives and other pointy stuff thrown by Little Nate.  And little by little, the cuts were turning worse and worse, and a bit bloodier, and bloodier. Memories of where I can hear Little Mercy screaming in pain, from unknown dangers as well as the constant danger. And the memory of that simple little kiss that Nathanial gave me before he walked out of my life forever.

                I can feel the tears falling down, and I close my eyes, breathing in and out, steadily trying to calm my breathing. I waited each second, waiting for the blade to come down. Darkness was all I can see, and all I will see. I wondered what mother and father will look like once I’m in their arms again. Would they still be happy, to see me, would they also be sad to realize that Little Mercy and Nate aren’t with me? Random thoughts were just rolling in my mind, till I heard a faint sound. Footsteps. 

Five years

Not very long, but here's Tuesday's post
The last one was Monday's since I didn't feel like putting it up yesterday.

            My life is crazy. My world just crumbled down, leaving nothing more than dust of memories behind. My hands were clawing the padded floor, trying to find a way out of this place. I started to cry out useless pleas, and it was obvious that no one was listening to me. The tears were falling uncontrollably, as the truth keeps on pressing onto me. It felt as if at any moment, I just might start choking to death in this unknown place. And no one will care, no one. And I wouldn’t care either, because then that would mean that I would be back with everyone again. Happy, and laughing as if what just happened in the past year was just a bad dream. But it was obvious that it wasn’t, it was obvious that I wouldn’t die, just yet. And it was obvious that the tears won’t last forever.

             In fact I can feel them slowing down, leaving me alone with reality. When what I truly wanted was darkness.

            “Oh cheer up, Cassie,” I can hear my brother say.

            “Nothing can last in sadness forever,” said my fiancé.

            “Yeah, nothing can last forever,” I said to myself. But this time it will, especially with everyone that I know just suddenly dead. This time, I had a feeling that the sadness will stay, and never leave again.

           

            That was five years ago, and it still stayed. It was just five years ago, since that accident, five years since I found myself in the padded place. Five years ago, that I found out my life will be changed forever.